So, I've been playing a bunch of Nintendo Wii games lately and I thought I'd share my opinions on them in no particular order, 'cause I'm random like that, bee-yotch! I dunno why I just insulted you... I apologize... on with the quickies:
Super Mario Galaxy 1 & 2, and New Super Mario Bros. Wii - I'll just go ahead and start it off with these three games. I'm grouping them together because... well... it's-a Mario! C'mon! If ya love Nintendo and have loved the Big N since day one like I have, you will LOOOOOVE these latest installments of the Mario franchise! Even if you are a new comer to the Wii party you will still get a big kick outta these games. BUY!!!
Tatsunoko vs. Capcom: Ultimate All-Stars - Your basic Capcom versus fighting game with a bunch of obscure (well, obscure to me) Japanese animation characters that I have never heard of. Yes anime geeks, let me have it. I know you just wanna unleash nerdy hell on me for not knowing what Tatsunoko is. Even if you do not know what Tatsunoko is, you will still enjoy playing this fighter. The moves are simplistic... VERY simplistic... almost TOO simplistic. It can get tedious after a while, but then again it's hard to change up 'Fight this guy, win, fight this guy, win, fight this girl, win, shampoo, rinse, and repeat', but you are rewarded with exclusive Wii characters to unlock. Given that, I still rather enjoyed it enough to buy it, but for the everyday man, I say Try it.
A Boy and His Blob - I remember playing the original game on the NES (that's Nintendo Entertainment System for you non-gamers) back in the 80's. The concept was about a Blob from outer space befriending a Boy, or vice versa, as they go on a quest to defeat an evil emperor with the aid of different flavored jellybeans that turn the Blob into various items that help the Boy move on to a particular area. Although interesting premise, I found that the limited ammo (jellybeans) and the horrible controls quickly turned me off of the game. Enter this 2009 remake for the Wii. They have given the graphics a beautiful hand-drawn like facelift, taken away the limited jellybeans, and made the controls an absolute dream. I was lucky to pick up a brand new copy of this game for $15, but I would gladly pay double that. Buy it!
The House of the Dead: Overkill - OMG! OMG! Oh. Em. Gee! Sega could not have done a better job on this game! The grind house theme fits PERFECTLY with The House of the Dead series! THOTD, if you don't already know, is an on-rails light gun shooter (you automatically move on a set path in first person while shooting things on the screen). The story and dialogue is cheese to the max, but that is the way it's supposed to be! Expect LOTS of violence, gore, and profanity out the wazoo! The unlockable and upgradable weapons also give the game a lot of replayability. My only complaint is that the ending made you wanting more, so here's hoping for a sequel. Buy it!
Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles - Another on-rails light gun shooter. This game takes you through the story and history of the first four Resident Evil games (0, 1, 2, and 3) and also fills in some gaps and fleshes out a lot more of the story. Again, the unlockable and upgradable weapons also give the game a lot of replayability. If you are a fan of Resident Evil, I say Buy it.
Ghost Squad - My third on-rails light gun shooter. This was a port from a Sega arcade game with TONS of extras thrown in. Due to so many extras, unlockables, and the points system that is utilized to get said items, this is kinda like a light gun RPG where you need to keep leveling up your profile to acquire everything. Play well and reap the wealth of points; play poorly and get a handful; so you really do need to practice on aiming and not just fire wildly at the screen. Had this just been a straight port of the original arcade game, I'd say try it, but since there is so much more added to this that would take you a while to get 100%, I say Buy it.
Ocean Commander - You play a shark with frickin' laser beams! No, really. LOL! I know, it sounds corny, but it was actually a lot of fun for a bargain bin shooter. Lots of weapon upgrades and plenty of levels. The levels do get tedious (shoot, shoot, shoot, kill badies, get to boss, kill boss). If you can get this for about $7 I say buy it, otherwise, Try it.
Blast Works - This... this is a unique one. It's a shooter where you can apparently graft, for lack of a better term, the fallen enemy ships on to yours and have them work for you. So, eventually, you can pilot a ship made up of other ships that fills the screen with bullets flying everywhere. That's a lot of ship! The downside to this is that it makes it hard to see exactly where your ship, your true ship, is. If that gets hit once, you die. Also, the other ships (jeeze, I need a thesaurus) can only take so much damage before they fall off or your aircraft (there, that'll work). That is just the basic game. The meat and potatoes of this one is in the editing area where you can basically build your own shooter. You can make your own ships, enemies, bosses, bullets, backgrounds, levels, shapes, and anything else that you want in your game! You can also go online and download other peoples creations and play with them. The possibilities, in theory, are endless, but I'm not one to sit around for hours to create a game... I'm a gamer/player, not a designer, that is not my job. If that is something that you can see yourself really enjoying, buy it, but for me I'll stick with Try it.
Cursed Mountain - A third person survival horror that is pretty good for a cheap thrill. Got my copy for $10 and I'd say it's about worth about that ($10-$15). Buy it if you can get it cheap, otherwise just rent it since you can only really play through it once.
Elebits - Although one of the more hyped launch games for the Wii, I found it rather dull. It seemed more like a tech demo of what all the Wii Remote is capable of rather than a full on game. It is a first person game where you use your capture gun to lift objects in a room while searching for and collecting Elebits (tiny creatures that power electronic equipment). I did get some enjoyment out of it, but it was quite fleeting. Even at a budget price I'd Rather have an Elebit crawl up my butt and electrocute me from the inside out.
Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure - A very unique and cute point & click game that has you figuring out how to use various items to clear each level. There are multiple ways to advance, but you need to find the best path to obtain the optimal points. This game also has some very clever ways to hold and use the Wii Remote. Need to open the umbrella? Hold your Remote straight up like the handle of a real umbrella and then push the button. Voilà, open umbrella! ^_^ Even though the replayability is a little low, I still say Buy it.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
From Long to Midler to Lots of Boffing
I am SO sorry that it has been so long since my last quickie post, but I've been tied up with watching the entire run of SyFy's Eureka so I could prepare to watch the crossover episodes with Warehouse 13. I went into Eureka thinking "meh" but now I'm pretty addicted to it. I am really loving this whole time-travel-alternate-time-line story arc they have in this current season, but then again, I love all time travel story arcs. ^_^ Although I do like the crossover episodes, I do not agree with having a romance between two characters from two different shows. It would make for a difficult long distance relationship, y'know? But enough about that; let's move on to the 80's movie quickies that will segue from Shelley Long to Bette Midler:
Hello Again - Shelley Long as a housewife who dies by choking on a chicken ball (no joke [and where can I find one of these?]) and is then revived a year later in true 80's hokey fashion by her wacky sister. I vaguely remember this from watching it as a kid. Pretty good cheesy laughs. Try It.
Outrageous Fortune - Shelley Long and Bette Midler star as two actresses in training who get involved with the same man and then tangled up in espionage. Oh 80's, how I miss your whack-a-doo stories! ^_^ Long plays a professionally trained actress with a stick up her butt... so basically herself. Midler plays a loud, brash, crass actress with an outrageous personality (see what I did there?)... so basically herself. It was fun and hilarious at times, but near the end the story really dragged. I still say Try It.
Ruthless People - Midler plays the wife of a millionaire who is kidnapped by a disgruntled employee of her husband's company in order to ransom her for big bucks and revenge. That is just the top layer of the hilarious story and I don't want to give too much away, but I will say that I love love LOVE the fasion and decor in this movie. It's like a pure concentrated time capsule directly from the 80's. ^_^ Buy it!
Down and Out in Beverly Hills - Nick Nolte plays a bum, I'm sorry, homeless man, who has reached the end of his ropes when his dog runs away. He stumbles across a pool belonging to a wealthy couple played by Bette Midler and Richard Dreyfuss and tries to drown himself in it. Dreyfuss rescues him, befriends him, boffs the maid, Bette bitches, boffs Nolte, her son wears makeup, the maid boffs Nolte, Nolte bonds with their dog, the dog boffs Nolte, and they all live happily ever after boffing each other... I think... I dunno... it was a whole boffing mess. I was so bored through this film that I lost track of the story. I barely laughed and I barely stayed awake. I'd Rather boff Nick Nolte in full bum, I mean, homeless attire... aka his everyday wear. I can't believe there was a television series for this.
Hello Again - Shelley Long as a housewife who dies by choking on a chicken ball (no joke [and where can I find one of these?]) and is then revived a year later in true 80's hokey fashion by her wacky sister. I vaguely remember this from watching it as a kid. Pretty good cheesy laughs. Try It.
Outrageous Fortune - Shelley Long and Bette Midler star as two actresses in training who get involved with the same man and then tangled up in espionage. Oh 80's, how I miss your whack-a-doo stories! ^_^ Long plays a professionally trained actress with a stick up her butt... so basically herself. Midler plays a loud, brash, crass actress with an outrageous personality (see what I did there?)... so basically herself. It was fun and hilarious at times, but near the end the story really dragged. I still say Try It.
Ruthless People - Midler plays the wife of a millionaire who is kidnapped by a disgruntled employee of her husband's company in order to ransom her for big bucks and revenge. That is just the top layer of the hilarious story and I don't want to give too much away, but I will say that I love love LOVE the fasion and decor in this movie. It's like a pure concentrated time capsule directly from the 80's. ^_^ Buy it!
Down and Out in Beverly Hills - Nick Nolte plays a bum, I'm sorry, homeless man, who has reached the end of his ropes when his dog runs away. He stumbles across a pool belonging to a wealthy couple played by Bette Midler and Richard Dreyfuss and tries to drown himself in it. Dreyfuss rescues him, befriends him, boffs the maid, Bette bitches, boffs Nolte, her son wears makeup, the maid boffs Nolte, Nolte bonds with their dog, the dog boffs Nolte, and they all live happily ever after boffing each other... I think... I dunno... it was a whole boffing mess. I was so bored through this film that I lost track of the story. I barely laughed and I barely stayed awake. I'd Rather boff Nick Nolte in full bum, I mean, homeless attire... aka his everyday wear. I can't believe there was a television series for this.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Clash of the Titans
They should have called it "Clash of the accents", I mean as if Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes accents weren't enough the film took a trip into bizzarro land when other cast members started sporting british accents. Excuse me, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't this movie take place in Greece? So if the characters are going to have an accent shouldn't it be, I dunno, GREEK!? If you don't take into account the gaping plot holes, stunted acting, over-the-top special effects and general lack of story the you might enjoy Clash of the Titans.
If you're interested I'd suggest renting it, but don't go out of your way to see this titan piece of crap.
I'd rather shove my head between Sam Worthington's butt cheeks for two hours.
If you're interested I'd suggest renting it, but don't go out of your way to see this titan piece of crap.
I'd rather shove my head between Sam Worthington's butt cheeks for two hours.
High School Horror Hijinks & Betty White
So, I watched a trio of horrible 80's high school horror spoof type films. One I have seen multiple times before when I was a young 'un, another I have seen when I was WAY young and only vaguely remember bits and pieces (I had to use some hardcore Google skills to find the title of it), and the last was one that I didn't even know existed (and I wish it remained that way). Let’s get on with it...
Return to Horror High - This one holds a special place in my heart. I remember seeing this on the shelf of the local video rental store, picking it up, and taking it to my mom with puppy dog eyes pleading for her to rent it for me. I was SO lucky that my grandmother and mother were so cool about letting me grow up watching horror films. Love love LOVE them for that! ^_^ Anyhoo, I digress. I'll try to be more neutral while reviewing. Although filled with cornball comedy this is mainly a horror film within a horror film with flashes forward, back, and side to side. The film, staring a very young George Clooney, starts off with the aftermath of a mass murder, then the film jumps all over the place; from the past events leading up to the murders, back to the present, and sometimes in the film that is being shot at the school. Since there is no structure or on screen text to let you know where or even when you are, it does get slightly confusing. Am I watching current events? Am I watching a scene from the film? Is any of this real? I think that was the point and gimmick of the storytelling; to confuse you so much that you don't know what's going on until the end, and you know what, it works. I want to say Buy it so much, but I do realize that would be very biased of me, so I will leave it at Try it and let you make your own conclusion of owning this little treasure from my childhood. ^_^
Student Bodies - Again, another one from my childhood that I remember enjoying, but I didn't remember all of the details very clearly. Hell, I even had to Google like crazy with the few vague facts that I had just to find the title of this film! Horror, spoof, trash bag, rubber gloves; that's what led me to Student Bodies. If you thought that Scary Movie was the first to spoof on horror movies, then you'd be dead wrong (sorry, I couldn't help myself :-P). With the success of Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Carrie, there just HAD to be a film that would cash in on that success while taking them down a peg or two. In the style of other spoof films of that time like Airplane, Student Bodies would be that film. Although nonsensical and just downright odd at times, I still find this rather enjoyable. During the end, the movie kinda lags and sputters. I get the feeling that the writers went out all gung-ho writing all of the hilarious and entertaining bits at the beginning, but then stalled and struggled with coming up with the ending of this whole mess (I use 'mess' as a term of endearment). Even though I recently bought this on DVD off of eBay for about three bucks, I suggest you save your money, but at least give the first half of the film a go. Try it.
National Lampoon's Class Reunion - Never heard of this film and I wish I never did. I'm not going to bore you or myself with the details, but it was also supposed to be a horror spoof film. It turned out to be a train wreck. I didn't laugh once. I repeat, I. Did. Not. Laugh. Once. :-| That was very disappointing and extremely painful. I'd rather take high school biology again, but this time be the one that is dissected... with a dull spoon... dipped in vinegar and salt.
Now, on to a side note. I recently discovered that TV Land had premiered its very first original scripted sitcom. It's called Hot in Cleveland starring Valerie Bertinelli (One Day at a Time, Touched by an Angel), Jane Leeves (Frasier), and Wendie Malick (Just Shoot Me) as three past-their-prime entertainment industry veterans from Los Angeles whose lives are changed when their Paris-bound plane lands in Cleveland, Ohio, where they find a welcoming community that is less shallow, youth-obsessed and weight-conscious than LA, and where one of them leases a home with a sassy caretaker played by the lovely & lovable Betty White (Golden Girls). This show is definitely the welcome return of scripted comedy. I was hooked by the very first episode. If you haven't already seen this, you really need to look it up and give it a whirl. You will totally not regret it... well, unless you regret getting addicted to new wonderful things. :-P
Return to Horror High - This one holds a special place in my heart. I remember seeing this on the shelf of the local video rental store, picking it up, and taking it to my mom with puppy dog eyes pleading for her to rent it for me. I was SO lucky that my grandmother and mother were so cool about letting me grow up watching horror films. Love love LOVE them for that! ^_^ Anyhoo, I digress. I'll try to be more neutral while reviewing. Although filled with cornball comedy this is mainly a horror film within a horror film with flashes forward, back, and side to side. The film, staring a very young George Clooney, starts off with the aftermath of a mass murder, then the film jumps all over the place; from the past events leading up to the murders, back to the present, and sometimes in the film that is being shot at the school. Since there is no structure or on screen text to let you know where or even when you are, it does get slightly confusing. Am I watching current events? Am I watching a scene from the film? Is any of this real? I think that was the point and gimmick of the storytelling; to confuse you so much that you don't know what's going on until the end, and you know what, it works. I want to say Buy it so much, but I do realize that would be very biased of me, so I will leave it at Try it and let you make your own conclusion of owning this little treasure from my childhood. ^_^
Student Bodies - Again, another one from my childhood that I remember enjoying, but I didn't remember all of the details very clearly. Hell, I even had to Google like crazy with the few vague facts that I had just to find the title of this film! Horror, spoof, trash bag, rubber gloves; that's what led me to Student Bodies. If you thought that Scary Movie was the first to spoof on horror movies, then you'd be dead wrong (sorry, I couldn't help myself :-P). With the success of Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Carrie, there just HAD to be a film that would cash in on that success while taking them down a peg or two. In the style of other spoof films of that time like Airplane, Student Bodies would be that film. Although nonsensical and just downright odd at times, I still find this rather enjoyable. During the end, the movie kinda lags and sputters. I get the feeling that the writers went out all gung-ho writing all of the hilarious and entertaining bits at the beginning, but then stalled and struggled with coming up with the ending of this whole mess (I use 'mess' as a term of endearment). Even though I recently bought this on DVD off of eBay for about three bucks, I suggest you save your money, but at least give the first half of the film a go. Try it.
National Lampoon's Class Reunion - Never heard of this film and I wish I never did. I'm not going to bore you or myself with the details, but it was also supposed to be a horror spoof film. It turned out to be a train wreck. I didn't laugh once. I repeat, I. Did. Not. Laugh. Once. :-| That was very disappointing and extremely painful. I'd rather take high school biology again, but this time be the one that is dissected... with a dull spoon... dipped in vinegar and salt.
Now, on to a side note. I recently discovered that TV Land had premiered its very first original scripted sitcom. It's called Hot in Cleveland starring Valerie Bertinelli (One Day at a Time, Touched by an Angel), Jane Leeves (Frasier), and Wendie Malick (Just Shoot Me) as three past-their-prime entertainment industry veterans from Los Angeles whose lives are changed when their Paris-bound plane lands in Cleveland, Ohio, where they find a welcoming community that is less shallow, youth-obsessed and weight-conscious than LA, and where one of them leases a home with a sassy caretaker played by the lovely & lovable Betty White (Golden Girls). This show is definitely the welcome return of scripted comedy. I was hooked by the very first episode. If you haven't already seen this, you really need to look it up and give it a whirl. You will totally not regret it... well, unless you regret getting addicted to new wonderful things. :-P
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Time Travel, Batman, and the Lovely Streep
The Butterfly Effect 2 - Gratuitous sex scene is gratuitous! If you have seen the first one, then you have seen this one. More of the same isn't exactly a good thing when you already know what's going to happen. The direct to DVD acting was also another flaw in this film. The only, and I mean ONLY, redeeming factor in this whole bloody time travel mess was Smallville's own Lois Lane, Erica Durance, but even then it's not enough to save it. I'd rather go back in time and kill myself before I started watching this movie therefore hurling myself into an infinite paradoxical temporal loop... or chew on some razor wire. :-\
The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations - I don't know if it was my lowered expectation of this film after watching the first sequel or if it was my undying love of time travel plots, but this movie was excellent. Even though it had an even more gratuitous sex scene than part two (brown-chicken-brown-cow! You'll get that later) I still enjoyed the hell out of this. I don't want to give too much away, but they took the original formula and took it in the direction that it needed to go. The time travel aspect is already established, so if you have not seen either the first one or the second one, I suggest you do that just to get you in the know of the process. Not only did they have the character exploit his ability to his advantage, which we all would at least toy with that thought, they also threw in a good old fashioned whodunit serial killer chase through time... y'know, like the silver age of film did. :-P Even though I am a firm believer of owning all sequels of a film series (sorry, that's just my OCD) I recommend that you definitely buy this one and then one OR two just to set up the time travel dynamic (I recommend the first one). Buy it.
Batman: Under the Red Hood - If you liked the animated series from the 90's, you are going to love the hell out of this direct to DVD romp. It takes our cartoon Batamn that we know and love and throws him into a violent, bloody, brutal, and darker Gotham. Taking a cue from the storylines "Under the Hood" and "A Death in the Family", it tells the story of Batman; Nightwing, who if you don't know was Batman's original Boy Wonder, Dick Grayson; the current Robin, Jason Todd; Joker, of course; Ra's al Ghul; and Black Mask. Not gonna spoil anything, just gonna tell you that it had me hooked from the get-go. Buy it.
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events - I was taken by pleasant surprise with this live action fairy tale! I knew practically nothing of the book series, so I wandered into this one with an ignorant but open mind. Even through Jim Carrey's forced and grating acting, I found such charm in this film in part due to the always awesome Meryl Streep and her alluring and whimsical performance. This movie could very well stand in for one of the Sirens and crash boats. ^_^ Buy it.
Triangle - I don't want to delve into this one too much for fear of giving anything away because this entire film is one big twist after another. It will also get you to thinking and dissecting the movie so don't turn your brain entirely off. If you are a fan of horror (like myself) and time travel storylines (like myself, again), then you will be very entertained and engaged in this movie. I love it when two of my favorite genres come together in perfect harmony! ^_^ Buy it.
The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations - I don't know if it was my lowered expectation of this film after watching the first sequel or if it was my undying love of time travel plots, but this movie was excellent. Even though it had an even more gratuitous sex scene than part two (brown-chicken-brown-cow! You'll get that later) I still enjoyed the hell out of this. I don't want to give too much away, but they took the original formula and took it in the direction that it needed to go. The time travel aspect is already established, so if you have not seen either the first one or the second one, I suggest you do that just to get you in the know of the process. Not only did they have the character exploit his ability to his advantage, which we all would at least toy with that thought, they also threw in a good old fashioned whodunit serial killer chase through time... y'know, like the silver age of film did. :-P Even though I am a firm believer of owning all sequels of a film series (sorry, that's just my OCD) I recommend that you definitely buy this one and then one OR two just to set up the time travel dynamic (I recommend the first one). Buy it.
Batman: Under the Red Hood - If you liked the animated series from the 90's, you are going to love the hell out of this direct to DVD romp. It takes our cartoon Batamn that we know and love and throws him into a violent, bloody, brutal, and darker Gotham. Taking a cue from the storylines "Under the Hood" and "A Death in the Family", it tells the story of Batman; Nightwing, who if you don't know was Batman's original Boy Wonder, Dick Grayson; the current Robin, Jason Todd; Joker, of course; Ra's al Ghul; and Black Mask. Not gonna spoil anything, just gonna tell you that it had me hooked from the get-go. Buy it.
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events - I was taken by pleasant surprise with this live action fairy tale! I knew practically nothing of the book series, so I wandered into this one with an ignorant but open mind. Even through Jim Carrey's forced and grating acting, I found such charm in this film in part due to the always awesome Meryl Streep and her alluring and whimsical performance. This movie could very well stand in for one of the Sirens and crash boats. ^_^ Buy it.
Triangle - I don't want to delve into this one too much for fear of giving anything away because this entire film is one big twist after another. It will also get you to thinking and dissecting the movie so don't turn your brain entirely off. If you are a fan of horror (like myself) and time travel storylines (like myself, again), then you will be very entertained and engaged in this movie. I love it when two of my favorite genres come together in perfect harmony! ^_^ Buy it.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Hey, it's a start...
Hello! Welcome to my new blog, Quickies for Commoners! After doing a few of these on my main site, ZaxxonQ.com, I have decided to flesh it out into its own little blog. I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I enjoy writing them. To start off this new site, I'm just gonna post my old reviews from ZaxxonQ.com, but then after that all of my new reviews will be posted here. Let's get this party started! ^_^
(Buy, Rent, Pass), in no particular order:
Pathology: Pretty decent. Not for the faint-of-heart. Rent.
Captive: Lame predictable plot with bland "acting". Pass.
Adventures in Babysitting: Cute time waster. I'm good just watching it the one time. Made me miss the 80's. Rent.
The Color Purple: OMG! Such an awesome flick! I tried to not cry during the movie, but that last scene will reach right in and rip the tears from your ducts! BUY!
The Killing Room: Kinda boring, but the ending made up for it and made me wanting more. Rent.
G.I. Joe: Mindless, slack-jaw, eye-candy. Seriously, don't try to follow the plot. Bad guys vs good guys and things go BOOM, that's all ya need to know. Just a pure frosting movie. Buy.
The Big Tease: Had some funny bits, not many. I'm good with just the once. Pass (sorry Craig).
Santa's Slay: More comedy than horror, weak story, bland acting, fun for just the once. Rent.
Little Black Book: MUCH better than I thought it would be! Saw it at Walmart for four bucks so I may just buy it! Buy, duh!
Twilight Saga - Eclipse: Pretty damned entertaining if I do say so myself. Although it was long as hell, it totally did not feel as such. Go see it then buy it when it comes out on DVD.
Repo Men: Despite being a Repo - The Genetic Opera rip-off (many MANY similarities) this was quite awesome! VERY gory and brutal as all hell, so of course I LOVED it! Buy, buy, a hundred times BUY!!!
Deadline: A Brittany Murphy flick that I had no idea existed. It made me miss her unique look and acting style so much more than I already do. She did such an awesome job and I wish I had the chance to let her know. :-( Buy.
Daybreakers: A very unique twist on vampire lore. A fun gory good time! Rent.
Darkness: Anna Paquin shows just how boring her acting can be (although I do not believe that is her acting, but just her as she is normally). A HUGE snore-fest. If you value your time, pass. If you have insomnia, doctors will prescribe this to you.
Youth in Revolt: Although I find it hard to believe that any sixteen year olds talk or act like Michael Cera or Portia Doubleday, the movie was enjoyable. Had it's funny moments, but no belly laughs. Rent.
Date Night: Within the first five minutes I was doubled over in teary laughter! Tina Fey and Steve Carell need to breed so we can have generations to come of their comic genius... that is if it is genetically passed. :-\ If not, I'll just settle for them working together on many more films. Buy.
The Losers: I admit, I had not read the comic when I watched this, so I really have no reference or idea of what I missed. As a standalone movie with no knowledge of the comic, it was alright. Bad guys versus good guys, weak and predictable plot, mediocre acting, and no feeling of conclusion. Good film to waste time if you have nothing better to do. Rent.
Kick-Ass: The title says it all! There wasn't one second of this movie that I did not enjoy! I cannot wait for the sequel! Adorable, funny, foul mouthed Hit-Girl (Chloë Moretz) needs her own spin-off! ^_^ BUY!!!
Percy Jackson & the Olympians - The Lightning Thief: So. Much. Awesome. Fun! ^_^ I enjoyed it WAY more than I thought I would/could. Plus, Uma Thurman as Medusa! Need I say more?! Buy!
Hot Tub Time Machine: Stupid funny. Don't worry too much about the temporal physics (like I did), just sit back and laugh. John Cusack rocked it out like always, but Clark Duke and Rob Corddry stole the show. Buy.
Slaughter High: A throwback 80's horror flick from my childhood. Good gravy what an awful movie! I wish I could break the DVD but I think Netflix would frown on that. PAAAAASSSSS!!!!!
Prince of Persia - The Sands of Time: Being a fan of the video game trilogy I was very excited to see how this plays out. Although not EXACTLY like the games, it was still very groovy! I still don't understand why they couldn't get some actual Persians in this film. Eyeliner and fake tan does not a Persian make. Rent.
The Grudge 3: Stop it. Just stop it. No no no no and no. Let it die here, please. Pass.
She's Out of My League - Very cute, charming, and funny movie. Jay Baruchel and Alice Eve have great chemistry together, but it's the scenes with T. J. Miller and Krysten Ritter that really won me over. The only issue that I may have had was the high number of main cast members. I really don't want to remember everyone's name and role during a silly comedy. Despite that fact, it was a fun ride. Rent.
Vampires Suck - Everyone that was involved in the making of this "movie" should have to give refunds to everyone that spent money on it and then after they go broke, become homeless, and resort to eating cat food, they should die in agony alone in a ditch... possibly on fire. The only time that I laughed (which was twice by the way and yes I was counting) was only when comedian Ken Jeong was on screen. Although the jokes he delivered were horrid, the way that he pulled them off was all his own hilarious style. You'd be better off just watching his stand up acts. Pass like a kidney stone.
Carnival of Souls (1998) - Although very loosely based off the original 1962 film of the same name, this version still manages to hold up its own as a very superb piece of horror. Despite it being twelve years old and having barely any gore, I still found myself cringing and jumping. Wes Craven rarely lets me down. Rent.
Alien from L.A. (via MST3K) - Wow. I cannot believe that anyone could seriously watch this with a straight face. Kathy Ireland sounded like a wounded kitten that needed to be put down, the makeup jobs looked like something a half retarded gorilla from the 80's would do, and the acting was bland and incomprehensible. The only, and I mean ONLY way that you should watch this is with my good friends from Mystery Science Theater 3000. They could make a steaming turd funny. Actually, they just did with this movie. Rent.
Teenage Strangler (via MST3K) - Now, I've seen a lot of bad, and I mean BAAAAAAAD movies (see Vampires Suck) but there are some that just don't have ANY sort of redeeming value at all! Even when Mystery Science Theater 3000 sinks their vicious teeth in this and rip it apart, it still isn't worth the time that you could spend crocheting or learning Dutch. Pass.
The Drawn Together Movie The Movie: *sigh* Why must you take one of my favorite crude 'toons and try to make a movie out of it? So effed up it's not even funny. I mean, yes, there are some laughs along the way, but nothing amounting to the quality of the TV series. Just stick with the reruns. Pass.
There's a great segue into this next section; TV shows! Watched the Series premier of Haven on SyFy. Although the acting was atrociously bland as all hell, I was still able to find the charm that will keep me watching. I just hope the acting improves as the series progresses. Also, this season of True Blood has already made up for the majority of the semi-train wreck that was Season 2 (I say semi because I actually kinda liked the storyline). If you have never watched an episode of True Blood... what is WRONG with you?! Hop to it, man! This has got to be the best thing on TV right now! Well, at least until Dexter and Weeds comes back. ^_^
Also, as a nice companion piece to True Blood, Meredith Woerner over at io9.com writes up HILARIOUS and very accurate recaps a couple of days after the latest episode airs. Please go read these and tell her that Brad sent ya! You'll thank me! ^_^
http://io9.com/tag/truebloodrecap
(Buy, Rent, Pass), in no particular order:
Pathology: Pretty decent. Not for the faint-of-heart. Rent.
Captive: Lame predictable plot with bland "acting". Pass.
Adventures in Babysitting: Cute time waster. I'm good just watching it the one time. Made me miss the 80's. Rent.
The Color Purple: OMG! Such an awesome flick! I tried to not cry during the movie, but that last scene will reach right in and rip the tears from your ducts! BUY!
The Killing Room: Kinda boring, but the ending made up for it and made me wanting more. Rent.
G.I. Joe: Mindless, slack-jaw, eye-candy. Seriously, don't try to follow the plot. Bad guys vs good guys and things go BOOM, that's all ya need to know. Just a pure frosting movie. Buy.
The Big Tease: Had some funny bits, not many. I'm good with just the once. Pass (sorry Craig).
Santa's Slay: More comedy than horror, weak story, bland acting, fun for just the once. Rent.
Little Black Book: MUCH better than I thought it would be! Saw it at Walmart for four bucks so I may just buy it! Buy, duh!
Twilight Saga - Eclipse: Pretty damned entertaining if I do say so myself. Although it was long as hell, it totally did not feel as such. Go see it then buy it when it comes out on DVD.
Repo Men: Despite being a Repo - The Genetic Opera rip-off (many MANY similarities) this was quite awesome! VERY gory and brutal as all hell, so of course I LOVED it! Buy, buy, a hundred times BUY!!!
Deadline: A Brittany Murphy flick that I had no idea existed. It made me miss her unique look and acting style so much more than I already do. She did such an awesome job and I wish I had the chance to let her know. :-( Buy.
Daybreakers: A very unique twist on vampire lore. A fun gory good time! Rent.
Darkness: Anna Paquin shows just how boring her acting can be (although I do not believe that is her acting, but just her as she is normally). A HUGE snore-fest. If you value your time, pass. If you have insomnia, doctors will prescribe this to you.
Youth in Revolt: Although I find it hard to believe that any sixteen year olds talk or act like Michael Cera or Portia Doubleday, the movie was enjoyable. Had it's funny moments, but no belly laughs. Rent.
Date Night: Within the first five minutes I was doubled over in teary laughter! Tina Fey and Steve Carell need to breed so we can have generations to come of their comic genius... that is if it is genetically passed. :-\ If not, I'll just settle for them working together on many more films. Buy.
The Losers: I admit, I had not read the comic when I watched this, so I really have no reference or idea of what I missed. As a standalone movie with no knowledge of the comic, it was alright. Bad guys versus good guys, weak and predictable plot, mediocre acting, and no feeling of conclusion. Good film to waste time if you have nothing better to do. Rent.
Kick-Ass: The title says it all! There wasn't one second of this movie that I did not enjoy! I cannot wait for the sequel! Adorable, funny, foul mouthed Hit-Girl (Chloë Moretz) needs her own spin-off! ^_^ BUY!!!
Percy Jackson & the Olympians - The Lightning Thief: So. Much. Awesome. Fun! ^_^ I enjoyed it WAY more than I thought I would/could. Plus, Uma Thurman as Medusa! Need I say more?! Buy!
Hot Tub Time Machine: Stupid funny. Don't worry too much about the temporal physics (like I did), just sit back and laugh. John Cusack rocked it out like always, but Clark Duke and Rob Corddry stole the show. Buy.
Slaughter High: A throwback 80's horror flick from my childhood. Good gravy what an awful movie! I wish I could break the DVD but I think Netflix would frown on that. PAAAAASSSSS!!!!!
Prince of Persia - The Sands of Time: Being a fan of the video game trilogy I was very excited to see how this plays out. Although not EXACTLY like the games, it was still very groovy! I still don't understand why they couldn't get some actual Persians in this film. Eyeliner and fake tan does not a Persian make. Rent.
The Grudge 3: Stop it. Just stop it. No no no no and no. Let it die here, please. Pass.
She's Out of My League - Very cute, charming, and funny movie. Jay Baruchel and Alice Eve have great chemistry together, but it's the scenes with T. J. Miller and Krysten Ritter that really won me over. The only issue that I may have had was the high number of main cast members. I really don't want to remember everyone's name and role during a silly comedy. Despite that fact, it was a fun ride. Rent.
Vampires Suck - Everyone that was involved in the making of this "movie" should have to give refunds to everyone that spent money on it and then after they go broke, become homeless, and resort to eating cat food, they should die in agony alone in a ditch... possibly on fire. The only time that I laughed (which was twice by the way and yes I was counting) was only when comedian Ken Jeong was on screen. Although the jokes he delivered were horrid, the way that he pulled them off was all his own hilarious style. You'd be better off just watching his stand up acts. Pass like a kidney stone.
Carnival of Souls (1998) - Although very loosely based off the original 1962 film of the same name, this version still manages to hold up its own as a very superb piece of horror. Despite it being twelve years old and having barely any gore, I still found myself cringing and jumping. Wes Craven rarely lets me down. Rent.
Alien from L.A. (via MST3K) - Wow. I cannot believe that anyone could seriously watch this with a straight face. Kathy Ireland sounded like a wounded kitten that needed to be put down, the makeup jobs looked like something a half retarded gorilla from the 80's would do, and the acting was bland and incomprehensible. The only, and I mean ONLY way that you should watch this is with my good friends from Mystery Science Theater 3000. They could make a steaming turd funny. Actually, they just did with this movie. Rent.
Teenage Strangler (via MST3K) - Now, I've seen a lot of bad, and I mean BAAAAAAAD movies (see Vampires Suck) but there are some that just don't have ANY sort of redeeming value at all! Even when Mystery Science Theater 3000 sinks their vicious teeth in this and rip it apart, it still isn't worth the time that you could spend crocheting or learning Dutch. Pass.
The Drawn Together Movie The Movie: *sigh* Why must you take one of my favorite crude 'toons and try to make a movie out of it? So effed up it's not even funny. I mean, yes, there are some laughs along the way, but nothing amounting to the quality of the TV series. Just stick with the reruns. Pass.
There's a great segue into this next section; TV shows! Watched the Series premier of Haven on SyFy. Although the acting was atrociously bland as all hell, I was still able to find the charm that will keep me watching. I just hope the acting improves as the series progresses. Also, this season of True Blood has already made up for the majority of the semi-train wreck that was Season 2 (I say semi because I actually kinda liked the storyline). If you have never watched an episode of True Blood... what is WRONG with you?! Hop to it, man! This has got to be the best thing on TV right now! Well, at least until Dexter and Weeds comes back. ^_^
Also, as a nice companion piece to True Blood, Meredith Woerner over at io9.com writes up HILARIOUS and very accurate recaps a couple of days after the latest episode airs. Please go read these and tell her that Brad sent ya! You'll thank me! ^_^
http://io9.com/tag/truebloodrecap
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